Area H1 Humorous Speech & Evaluation Contests

Being funny is not easy. For the past month, I've been working hard on my humorous speech for the contest this afternoon. I hope I can be funnier each day, I hope I can bring more laughter to people around me.

I was the first runner up for Area H1 Humorous Speech and Evaluation contests 2011. I was excited with another chance to hone my public speaking skills at Division H Humorous Speech and Evaluation Contests Saturday afternoon, October 22nd!
****** One Day in My Life ******

I am 55, going on 56 tomorrow! Yes, I know I look younger. That's what I wish to hear from you. Aging is irreversible, gray hair, reading glasses, and dementia. I forgot what I did yesterday. I forgot what I did one hour ago. I forgot I am married. I forgot why I am here.

After I get retired, I become busier in life. At home, I search for the reading glasses for hours only to find them on my head. I look for the house key for hours only to find them in the grocery bag in the refrigerator. I write everything down on a piece of paper, but I forgot where I put the paper.

Last Monday morning, I was excited about the outing with four lady friends to visit the skywalk in Taoyuan. We agreed t meet at Taipei Train Station at 8. I woke up at six o'clock. (look at the watch), "I am an early bird, I can take it easy," (Hop on scooter, speed up! Bu bu bu)

Red light, Right turn, oh, two policemen ambushed behind a big tree!

"Driver's license, please!"
"Do I have to get a ticket? Please I just got fired and I'm late for my job interview!"

"Haven't you seen the red light?"
"I saw the red light, but I didn't see you!"

"In toastmasters, when we see the red light, we have thirty seconds leeway, before the bell rings."
"Okay, we will let you go this time, but please drive carefully and stop at any red light!"
"Yes, SIR, thank you very much."

I am a Toastmaster. I am a communicator. I got myself free of the hook and saved NT$1800, wow, more than enough for Toastmasters semi-annual fee!

When I passed the Mos Burger, I smelled the good coffee. I am an early bird. Yes, I have time for a cup of coffee. While I waited for my coffee, I went to the lady's room to put on the make up.

After a good cup of morning coffee, I went back on the road again, Oh my god, where is my scooter key? Not in my hand bag, not in my jacket, maybe I left it in the lady’s room. I rushed back to the lady's room, I couldn't find it. Maybe I left the key in the trunk of my scooter. I checked the trunk, nope, not there, either. Did I throw it away with my coffee cup at the Mos Burger? I dig the entire trash bag, I couldn't find it. Just about I decided to give up, the lady employee at Mos Burger showed the key I left at the counter.

What, seven thirty, I hopped on my scooter again, ran the yellow lights, ran the red lights, ran the green lights to Taipei Train Station. There was nobody? How come? Did I mess up the gathering place? Where could it be? I waited, I waited, I waited. It was over 8, nobody showed up?

I called Mary.

"Hello, Mary, are you still in bed? Aren’t we supposed to go to the skywalk today?"
"Sherry, is that you? But we have the outing tomorrow. Today is Monday!"

What? After all these hustles and bustles, why me? I am a Toastmaster. I must think positively. Isn't it wonderful to gain an extra day in life? By the time I got home, it was only 9. I checked my emails. There was one from Mary, saying that I just had AAADD, triple A and double D. It is not an alcoholic organization, it is not a drink either. It's Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. What a day in my life, a series of problems, a series of experiences, a series of discoveries! I found the topic for my humorous speech.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I have three wishes, forget about the past, I can't change it. Forget about the future, I can't predict it. Remember the present, you give me today for being here to laugh with me. Contest Chair!ing