The Biology of Emotion

Human beings are designed (evolved) to be emotional creatures of love, joy, pleasure and play. The emotional brain is our limbic brain. It has a series of small control centers reponsible for different moods and cross-wired with one another. Our emotions and moods control our bodies through chemicals, adrenaline, cortisol, serotoninm!

Being profoundly visual animals, human beings read hundreds of subtle signals, body languages, hand gestures, flickers of facial expression. Millions of mirror neurons in limbic brain pick up emotions of others and mirror them. Emotion literally precedes thought at the neural level. A positive emotion generates a positive thought which loops back through the limbic system to generate a positive feeling. By reaching out to good stimuli: exercise, decent sleep, rational diet, love and play, we create positive emotions.

While troubled with our emotions, we need to have the courage to make space for our emotions and have the wisdom to pursue what we care about even when our mind says no. When we have doubt about ourselves, keep in mind "Never mind our mind". Shift our focus to a bigger picture, have peace in mind. Write is out gives me pleasure to express my feelings. Peaceful movement, such as relaxed stretching, yoga, tai chi, are helpful to keep our mind in peace.

Another way to gain balance and stability in life is to focus on the center of gravity, the geographic middle of our physical body, a spot an inch or two behind and two or three inches below the navel. Imagine drawing in all scattered energy and concentrating it at the gravity center. Focus the energy at the gravity center for a few minutes till life is in balance.

About Judgement

To the question of your life, you are the only answer.

To the problems of your life, you are the only solution. --Jo Coudert

I throw temper tantrums when I'm judged in public. My emotions get the better of me. Managing my feelings when I'm judged by others is a challenge. I need to be able to name the emotion, accept the emotion, express the emotion, and take care of myself. When I'm able to manage emotions, I shall have peace in mind.

Nobody likes to be judged. On the contrary, everybody has a tendency to judge people around us.  All-or-nothing thinking is the tendency to judge things in extreme or "black-and-white" categories. It is irrational, because in reality things are never completely one way or the other. Judging others doesn't make us any better than them; it doesn't make us right and them wrong; it doesn't make us more valuable and them less valuable. All judging does is make us feel temporarily (and falsely) better about ourselves. I need to learn not to judge others. I need to learn to tolerate the distress being judged by others.

In order to manage emotions, we need to be master two skills, being effective and acting opposite to the urge. In stead of acting from the emotional self, acting on an urge, doing what feels good rather than what's good in the long run, we should act from our wise self, assessing what we can do to get our needs met. Let our reasoning self think about the fact and our wise self figure out the goal.

Acting opposite to the urge lets our wise self see what our morals and values are and what are in our best interest. Think opposite, or in a nonjudgmental way. Avoid adding fuel to the fire. In stead of calling others "mean", it is better to say something like: She betrayed my confidence, and I'm hurt and angered by her actions. Using I-messages help us express how we feel without making other fell that they are to blame. Learning to use I-messages in stead of you-messages is a simple but important way to improve our communication skills.

In Toastmasters, we learn to manage our emotions in a more proactive way. We stand up and speak up to build confident in ourselves and to help ourselves by helping others!

Mindfulness Skills

The only way to have a friend is to be one. --Ralph Waldo Emerson

On the first night on Sun Princess Wednesday evening, September 24t, I burst into anger at dinner table. I snapped at (lashed out at) my lady friends of the same table, at Marquis Restaurant on Deck 5-Plaza.

I know my weakness. I can't control my temper when I'm criticized in public. Without any constraint, I backfire instantly. I don't deserve the treatment while I'm serving others to the best interest for all. Why am I challenged? Why am I bullied? Why do I have a public humiliation?

I left the restaurant alone after dinner, took a walk on Deck 7-Promenade. I was all alone. It was a rainy, windy, and chilly typhoon evening when I saw the pilot boat left Sun Princess at sea. When the light of the small boat floating on crashing waves faded away in dark, I was so frustrated that I felt like jumping into the sea, like the protagonist of the seventh night in Ten Nights of Dreams by Natsume Souseki.

The seventh night's dream begins with the dreamer finding himself on board a large ship and does not know where the ship is headed. The dreamer faces a sense of being completely lost as he didn't know where the boat was headed or when he would be able to get off. The dreamer contemplates on jumping off the ship into the sea instead of staying on the ship due to his feeling of being lost. Nights pass and the dreamer becomes even more unhappy as the other passengers seem to have forgotten that they were on a ship. Finally the dreamer decides to kill himself. With no one around one night, he jumps into sea, but regrets it immediately.

Luckily, I came across many new books about stress management at Taipei City Library after I got home. I realize that the peer pressure with friends stress me out. And I need to manage fight-or-flight response skillfully when I feel threatened. I need to learn to ride the wave of life, imagine the water calm and still deep below the strongest of storms with huge crashing waves.

Mindfulness is about slowing down, seeing things clearly, and paying attention moment to moment to moment. We notice what is happening, as it is taking place and we are more aware of our body, our emotions, and our thoughts, to live in the present moment. We use five senses--sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell--to notice our body and surroundings in order to bing ourselves into the now. And, I accept all of my emotions!

THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
--Rumi

Practice mindful STOPPING before action or reaction in stressful moments.
1. Visualize a stop sign.
2. Check in with body, from tips of toes, move upto the top of head.
3. Breath in one, breathe out one, for a count of ten breaths.
4. Bring in air through a small hole at the top of the head, let breath move through the body and release it through the tips of toes.

Get the facts!
1. Say, "Stop it!" to yourself.
2. Think positively. See other sides of the story rather than focusing on what you "think" you know.
3. Realize that not everyone thinks as you do. Seek out the facts before you react.
4. Ask yourself, "Am I jumping to conclusion?"
5. Ask for the truth.

Thought Stopping
1. Notice the thought that causes anxiety
2. Picture a bright red stop sign
3. Exchange the anxious thought for a peaceful thought
4. Say the peaceful thought in your mind
5. Keep the peaceful thought till the anxious thought is completely gone

 "Mile by mile it's a trial; yard by yard it's hard; but inch by inch it's a cinch." -Anonymous

Treasure Islands on Sun Princess

There is a saying, "nobody is an island." Being born an islander,  I say, "everybody is a treasure island." That was what I believed before I embarked upon Sun Princess Wednesday, September 24th. Ahoy, Matey, here I come. Yo Ho Ho~

Chinese believe that it takes a decade of cultivation to ride on the same boat, whilst, it takes a century to share the same pillow. When fate brings us together, we cherish every encounter and embrace the relationship. With 2000 treasure islands (staff and passengers) on Sun Princess, I wish to know as many of them as possible.

pAt the first sight of Sun Princess docked at the Kobe Wharf, I fell in love with her beauty immediately. Sun Princess, built in 1995, is a magnificent lady of 77,441 tons, measuring 261 meters from stem to stern, 32 meters in width, 15 stories in height, 1,011 rooms for 2,022 passengers.

Sun Princess made the news in October, 2007 as the largest ship to ever cross beneath the Sydney Harbor Bridge while entering the harbor for the first time, with a vertical clearance of approximately 2.5 m (8 ft 2 in) to spare at low tide.From 2012, Sun Princess started her first World Cruise.Being recently renovated in August 2013, Sun Princess looked classy in her way in interior and Captain Diego Perra was newly appointed from June 2013.

Immediately after all passengers were on board, we were requested to participate in muster training of emergency response. From Room 525 on Deck 11-Aloha, Irene and I joined residents in line, followed directions of musters diligently through various emergency exits to designated positions. We learned to put on life vests timely and properly. It was an important lesson for All to be able to survive at sea just in case of danger.

I made it a habit to read the Princess Patter--the Daily Guide to Life At Sea, before I went to bed. I wanted to attempt all activities and classes, including dancing, cooking, cocktails, not to mention the Grand Casino. In my dream, I looked forward to the refreshing morning, the relaxing afternoon, and the enchanting evening the following day. It was fun and exciting to make acquaintance with different people brought together by the love of traveling by sea. Ninety percent of passengers on board were from Taiwan, as Sun Princess was a charter cruise by Taiwanese businessmen. Princess Patters were readers friendly. They were printed in traditional Chinese characters. All announcements on board were bilingual, both in English and in Mandarin.

Due to the outrageous service charge, rate at 100 minutes for US$69, I didn't spend a penny on internet. In Taiwan, I could get a rate at US$3 for five hours! Who bothered to sit in front of computers while plenty of food and drinks were served on board, plus many interesting outdoors and indoors activities waiting for fun loving people!

Being surrounded by an army of servants, I never felt bored for a second. Staff on Sun Princess in different uniforms (white, red, green, blue, flowery) provided instant services at hand. I enjoyed three most luxurious dinners with the best services ever from Alan and Alex at Marquis Dining Room on Deck 5-Plaza, and two extraordinary and exquisite breakfasts served by Worawut Pitaksakseree (Woody) at Regency Dining Room on Deck 6-Emerald.

Woody is from Thailand with a southern Chinese heritage. He knew all tricks to make golden ladies laugh. We were the last table to leave Regency Dining Room Friday morning. It was after 10 when we were still sitting by the window entertained by Woody. Saturday morning, we arrived at Regency before 6:30 to be the first group of customers. Woody served our table upon our request with a big sunny smile on his hearfelt face. In addition, I made hundreds of friends with more than 20 staff on board, Chris, Lucy, Lynn, Ted, Tina, Massimo, Thai, Delong, just to name a few!

Sunset Friday afternoon and sunrise Saturday morning were memorable. Irene and I got up one hour earlier to see the sunrise. The smart phone woke us up the Japanese time, instead of Taiwanese time. I took the chance to enjoy a cup of chocolate in tranquility at International Cafe' on Deck 5-Plaza while waiting for dawn. Suddenly the sky turned from dark to bright, Irene and I rushed to Deck 14-Lido to take the first glance of the rising sun upon the vastness of the horizon and the turtle island in Yi-land. The sun was huge and red. A bright new day began!

While I felt sad to leave Sun Princess with the disembarkation tag (Navy/Azul 3) on my luggage, I was happy to be home. It was the first time ever I had the inbound by ship stamped on my passport. The moment I arrived home, I added the website of Princess Bridge Cam--Live from the Sun Princess, as my favorite site. I can track my Sun Princess anytime with just a click on my desktop.