Communicating with Authenticity

If there is anything I could learn beyond Toastmasters, Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., Toastmasters Golden Gavel Recipient 2007, is certainly the role model I would follow. After I read Barbara's inspiring answers to questions from Toastmaster Magazine June issue, I found them extremely valuable in my everyday life in the office and at home. Upon Sherry's request, I'm pleased to quote some of Barbara's answers which touched upon my heart.

Q: As an expert in human relations, what aspect of communication have you found to be most challenging for people?
A: We worry more about what we think we should say or (how we should) look rather than being authentic. Communicating with authenticity means that how you present yourself to others is who you really are.

Q: What is your advice to anyone wanting to become a better communicator?
A: Often, speakers make the mistake of trying to imitate other speakers. By doing this, they are unintentionally disconnecting from one of their greatest assets and one of the secret ingredients for being successful: their authenticity. People can sense when we are trying too hard, or faking confidence, or projecting an image that doesn't feel natural. People see us appearing inauthentic. It makes them uneasy. And we actually appear awkward or nervous.

Q: As a speaker and media personality, you are used to facing large audiences. Do you still get nervous?
A: I actually experience the opposite of nervousness - a tremendous surge of blissful energy!

Q: How do you prepare for a presentation?
A: For weeks before a presentation, I consciously tune in to the audience to which I will be speaking, I think about them, imagine them, feel them. In a sense, I begin a relationship with them. The real preparation is happening on the inside.

Q: What do you consider your greatest strength as a speaker and communicator?
A: I believe that when I speak, the message doesn't come from me, but through me. This may sound esoteric. But, I am not in the business of dispensing information. I am in the transformation business.

Q: How do you define success?
A: If we think the purpose of life is to do or get or accomplish, we will always feel like a failure when things don't run out as planned. If we look at life as a classroom in which success means growing into the best human being possible, we can begin evaluating ourselves and our experiences from a totally different point of view.

Q: If you could improve one aspect of your speaking style, what would that be?
A: It would be great to be able to remember every quote I want to use.

Q: Is there a speech you've delivered that you are especially proud of? Why?
A: I'm not a traditional or conventional speaker. I give "speeches", and I don't "write" speeches. I write a few words or phrases. I have certain things I plan to say, anchor points. About the "best presentation"? Hopefully it is always the most recent one.

Q: Have you ever "bombed" in front of an audience? What to tell us about it?
A: No. That would be impossible for me. I have been blessed to always be received with great enthusiasm. Lydia